theosis lesson 1: a sauna in Saaremaa

That morning, we sort of randomly arose as we pleased, the faint traces of smoke from the fire looming over our tiny cabins in the middle of nowhere.

10 or so, I think. Starting to fade out a bit, y’know.

I was an idiot for never wearing pants, haha; American with your shorts, may the critters bring you imported encephalitis! I scratched, slapped and fought ‘em- eventually they had mercy on me and my fake camoflauge shorts. Never again.

We let the sauna heat up as we stripped naked, going starkers in the morning sun. The guys drank a Saku  and I probably sipped some instant coffee as we heard the rustling of a wedding party getting ready in the distance.

I’m a bit bigger than everyone else, but no one says anything. I feel good, I felt comfy with that towel around me.

Sauna, ten minutes. Beer, two. Sauna, ten, air, five, beer, two. Et cetera.

I never stare.

In that heat, all you can do is simply look down and let it all evade you like a forgotten memory, almost gone but needing a little push.

I felt like all my tangible fears left that day.

I felt like it was the first step in attaining theosis, a term I would learn about two years later.

I had myself without a desire to sin and with a desire to be a man- a good, conscious, caring man.

If only a little bit sweaty in the morning, heh.

Oh, yeah.

Naky too.

ex-mural

Coming outside and watching the scene, we see this old mural on a wall.

It screams history like a banshee and tells of its former glory days.

Its paint peels like sun-dried skin, half-fallen, half-hanging on.

Soila, d’you know Russian? What’s it say?

She says, something by Lenin,

buried under a giant sea,

buried under a giant sea,

buried under a giant sea,

buried under a giant pea.

 

The soldier looks mighty yet invisible.

Maybe ‘cos we can’t picture his robotic soul ever being in such a beautiful place like this.

All we know is that things are better than they ever were.